Top 15: Funniest Dave Rowntree Quotes

1. I'm always naked underneath my clothes.
2. I like to be in bed by midnight. Mind you, I like to balloon around the world bathing in a huge vat of lime jelly, and that doesn't happen too often either.
3. [When he painted 'Dave' on his cheek at the 1995 Brit Awards, mimicking Prince's 'Slave'] We have a lot in common. EMI won't release my solo album either.
4. If there's a technical problem with the band I usually get the first phone call. If it's about going to a party then Alex will get the first call, if it's a TV show in Milan then Damon will get the first call and... I can't really think what Graham would get the first call about. I suppose it would be, 'Will you get out of bed, you're late'. That's when Graham would get the first call.
5. There's always a Jimmy from Quadrophenia lookalike at our gigs. Last night's was brilliant. Looked like him, talked like him, wore exactly the same clothes. Never seen the film... (1994)
6. (When asked has he ever kissed any band members) I’ve kissed them all, and most of the crew. Doesn’t mean we’re engaged or anything.
7. I spend about an hour a week answering questions and Alex spends an hour writing his diary. Damon spends an hour picking his nose. I don’t find an hour nearly enough for that
8. We tried to give each other nicknames a couple of years ago, but we couldn’t remember to use them. I was carrot, Damon was ape. The others are lost in the mist of time.
9. I can only live with girls. I have a wife and three girl cats. If I ever have kids I will have the boys adopted. Anyway, there’s less red, and more pink on my head these days.
10. (When asked which musician he’d like to collaborate with, dead or alive) I’d like to collaborate with a dead person if I had the chance. I would get more say in the outcome.
11. "If you want to impress a woman, just say 'barometer'!" - on Women
12. "I don't think anyone who has ever counted drinking amongst their hobbies has never kissed a man." 
13. "I'm sensible and quiet. Alex likes cheese. They're all stereotypes. I suppose if you'd have to reduce your entire existence to one paragraph those words wouldn't be in it." 
14. (Do you smoke? Probably, you do, but have you ever tried to quit smoking?) "I used to smoke. I quit five-ish years ago. Now I run twenty miles a week, and I have nipples as hard as steel." 
15. "That's not how we goof around. In general we don't leapfrog all over each other and carry brightly coloured umbrellas. That's not our normal gooding modus operandi. We're more cerebral when we goof. That is sort of us artificially goofing." Dave - on Parklife's music video, July 2012 (Blur 21 interview).